My husband & I believe that there are really no perfect marriages. Those that work are the ones wherein both the husband & the wife give a whole lot of Tender Loving Care into the relationship. It’s not enough to decide to marry someone and profess undying love on your wedding day. It takes a constant everyday decision to love your spouse.
This is the reason why Wally & I go on Intentional Date Nights. It’s not just to go out – eat, have some drinks, watch a movie, etc. – together. But it is really to build on our relationship with one another. Before we got married, we’d regularly go out on dates. When our little Joaquin came, our dynamics changed. (I’m sure the married couples can relate!) We were always too busy or too tired to go out on dates. Last year, we started to go back to our dating routine. But we tried to make it more intentional.
-deliberate, calculated, conscious, intended, planned, meant, studied, knowing, willful, purposeful, purposive, done on purpose, premeditated, preplanned, preconceived
Because sometimes when we did go out on dates, (of course we’d talk) but it would normally be about Joaquin, our home, our family, our plans & concerns, finances, trivial or even world matters. But we often take the “us” in our marriage for granted.
How to have an “intentional” date night?
HAVE A TOPIC
Spontaneous is great. But the chances that you’ll go back to talking about trivial stuffs, current events, even chismis is very high. Having a topic allows you to be sure to talk about your relationship with one another. It gives you focus. It allows you to remain within a certain topic and spend more quality time talking about it.
Topics to use
Well, it could be anything & everything under the sun. There are literally a million & one possibilities. In one of our date nights, we had a gratitude fill-in-the-blanks activity.
“Thank you for…..”
“I appreciate it when you……”
Of course we had to explain our answers a bit. And we went home feeling more grateful and appreciative of the gift of each other. There were also Date Nights when we talked about our Personal Health & how we can support each other about it. And also a Date Night when we talked about our Finances and Being Good Stewards to what God has blessed as with.
Again, it can be about anything and everything under the sun which may be important to you. But it is very crucial to have a topic because it makes it more focused. And you get to have more quality talk time between the two of you.
There’s always a topic
How do we make sure that we have topic? Simple, we assign it to each other alternately. We try to go out on a Date Night twice a month (every other week). One of us will be in charge for the month on deciding everything about Date Night whether we are eating out, just catching coffee & dessert after dinner or watching a movie or show. For example, we can go out for a fancy dinner on Date 1 of the month. Then we can just catch some coffee and dessert after a movie night on Date 2. It also answers the perennial question of where to eat and what to do for Date Nights (and we also become more conscious of our budgeting for it). PLUS, that same person will also be in charge of the topic that will discussed for the month.
This also gives more participation for both parties. The burden is not solely on one person to plan the dates with relevant topics but it also becomes a shared effort for both.
Stay tuned for the next installments of our Intentional Date Nights. But for now, I would love to hear your thoughts about the TOPICS that can be used for Intentional Date Nights.
Give-away for Date Nights
To make it more fun, get the chance to win TATERS Gift Certificate worth P600 – Six Hundred Pesos (for your Date Nights!)
One winner will be chosen randomly by old-fashioned drawing of lots.
This is OPEN for anyone in the Philippines.
Comment below with a Topic that you think will be great to have for Date Nights. Explain why in 1-2 sentences. This is required. (One entry)
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Give-away duration is from November 12-30, 2014.
Winner will be announced on December 1, 2014.
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